Wit Not Included

God called, you failed.

2008-06-22T10:37:00.005-03:00

As I pack for London (leaving in just under 6 hours) I would like to leave you with these gems that happened this weekend while Moms and I were at WalMart.

While searching through the women's clothing department, Moms and I share the same malcontent over a wild six year old girl who has been given free reign by her mother to run around the store throwing her toys at patrons. As we come up with all the reasons I would never have been able behave that way, the mother addresses the kid.

"Heaven, settle down, come here....don't do that. HEAVEN. Listen to me!"
"That woman should know someone played a cruel trick on her," says Moms.

There are few things Kehoe women love more in this world than irony. And for that, WalMart never fails.

Minutes later as we stand in line to pay, I amalgamate our orders and convince moms to let me pay for hers.

Five things combined - I think I can handle that.

So as the cashier begins a second bag for items four & five, I stop her and say it wold be fine if everything went in one bag.
Global warming: 0
Planet-Saving Shannon: 1/2 (A half point because I forgot my reusable bags)

I pay, get my receipt and grab my stuff, only to realize she double bagged my order.

FAIL

No Such Thing

2008-06-22T00:18:00.004-03:00

On a phone call with Nicole, who is in Smart Set:

"Do you think that we are prettier than Jennifer Aniston?"
"No. Why?"
"Well I just thought that if we had that going for us, we might be able to steal John Mayer from her when we go backstage at his concert in July."
*Nicole loses all words and then makes squeally noises*

***I won a trivia contest and we get to go to a meet and greet before our show in Boston.

Double header from TNG

2008-06-18T14:28:00.003-03:00

While looking at a picture of a potential blind date for a friend of mine:

"He looks like a douche, and only balding guys wear hats."
*Realizes he is wearing a hat*

On the topic of the single girls' hunt for a guy:

"Good guys are like God. Everyone belives they are out there, but no one has ever seen one."

Did we spend the last 8 years calling it the Red Neck House?!

2008-06-17T19:35:00.005-03:00

People can be despicable, disgusting, appalling creatures. Put those qualities in a Republican and you get this:

Created and sold by Republicanmarket at the Texas Republican State Convention on Saturday this pin demonstrates a sentiment that I (along with others) am scared lies among other American voters. This upcoming election is going to be one to watch. If only the debates could centre on policy, politics and ideas for the future...

Countdown to London: 7 days to go...

2008-06-15T19:26:00.003-03:00

In one week, I will have begun my great journey to London. Okay, so maybe it's not THAT big of a deal. I'm not taking planes, trains and automobiles. Just planes. Lots of them. True, it may take a few meager hours to traverse the Atlantic Ocean and arrive on the other side, but when you are looking to scrimp on dollars so that you have more to exchanging into the dreaded double-the-value-of-the-CAD British Pound, you have to save as much as humanly possible, thus leading to my 15 hour milk run flight.

Departure: Sunday June 22 @ 4:30pm
Arrival: Monday June 23 @ 11:45am
Stop overs: Toronto & Reykjavik

Not to mention the fact that we will arrive a few hours early at the airport for our flight, and the fact that we will have to take the tube into London upon our arrival at Heathrow, gaining us another hour.

And adding a train and automobile to my travels.

Okay, so I started off by lying. But I just have to keep in mind that while in one week I may be on the flight from hell, in two weeks I will be here. And that makes it worth it.

Fire Update

2008-06-14T14:12:00.005-03:00

Power is back and I am home in Lake Echo, but the fire is still considered out of control and the radio is reporting that Wonderland Park in Lake Echo as well as Two Rivers in Minesille have been evacuated. Scary. We share Martin Lake with the very back of Wonderland, so we're preparing to go if we have to but staying optimistic that the fire isnt' there yet or is far and things will be okay.

Here are some pictures from about 1:15pm Atlantic time.

View from my hilly street

View from the top of the Mineville Road, now fully closed by the RCMP.

Photojournalism FAIL

2008-06-13T19:26:00.004-03:00

If I was a world class blogger, I would have taken a picture of the fire clouds, road blocks and police officers on my way out of evacuating the house due to the forest fire. Instead I grabbed my dad, cat, laptop and left (mom is at work). Right now, the fire is decently far from the house. We left out of precaution but the winds are high off the Atlantic, which are causing problems fighting it so it's spreading and could shift.

Main message: The Kehoes are safe and I'll keep you up to date.

Update - From the Chronicle Herald website, the view just before my exit on the 107.

Sounds like the fire is moving in the complete opposite direction of the house. Still no power there and won't be until sometime tomorrow, so planning on staying in Halifax for the evening.

"I'm going to heaven, I'm going to heaven"

2008-06-11T23:35:00.012-03:00

6:00am - Wake up because I forgot to reset my alarm from yesterday morning's gym excursion.

7:00am - Wake up again.
7:25am - Get out of bed too late to take a shower. Must be at boss' house for 7:45am.
7:30am-7:40am - Pack clothes for day on golf course (wear shorts and short sleeve/long sleeve combo, pack pants in case it is too cold).
7:45am - Leave for boss' house.
8:00am - Arrive at boss' house.
8:05am - Depart her house only to realize that I left my cold weather pants in my car.
8:06am - Pull u-turn and return to my car to get my pants.
8:07am - Discover that I didn't put my pants in my car.
8:08am - Lock my keys in the car. Swear profusely.
8:45am - Arrive to work 15 minutes late.

9:45am - Lose argument with the printer/photocopier that refuses to print my documents.

11:00am-12:30pm - Drive around wet golf carts and get rained on.
Approximately 1:30pm - IT'S A MIRACLE...IT GETS (AND REMAINS) SUNNY IN BRIDGEWATER.

8:20pm - Leave Bridgewater for office.

8:21pm - Wish I was celebrating a birthday with

Ben .
9:15pm - Arrive at office courtesy of drive from golf tournament sponsor, and close friend Nicole. Let myself into the office where I will wait for my boss (who has a car full of other co-workers). Prepare to car-pool home.
9:20pm - Reengage in an argument with the printer/photocopier that won't print my stuff.
9:25pm - Fool the p/p from Hell into printing my sh*t.
9:26pm - Get a call from the boss that they are running late and I will just have to keep waiting.
9:45pm - Ride arrives.
10:00pm - Unsuccessfully try to explain why I only flirt with older or married members of our organization.

Me: "When they are older or married you are just building good rapport with them. They know you're not serious."
Boss: "Uh-huh."
Me: "When they're in their twenties, they get the wrong message. Like that you are trying to flirt with them."
Boss: "Oh yeah, God forbid you build a professional rapport AND get a date out of it."
Me: ***crickets***

10:20pm - Get to boss' house. Run to mailbox to grab extra set of keys to my car (conveniently placed there earlier in the day by my super awesome parents).
10:21pm - Discover I have a flat tire.
10:22pm-10:25pm - Curse like (the daughter of) a sailor.
10:26pm - 10:45pm - Prove that I am so much more than a pretty face by changing my tire.
10:46pm - Reflect on my day (while not exceeding 80km per hour) and reaffirm my beliefs that days like today are around to remind me I am going to heaven.

***edit for addition***

12:23am - Forfeit battle to Blogger, which will not allow me to get Ben's name on the same line as the rest of his sentence.

Dance baby, dance

2008-05-27T15:59:00.004-03:00

So my crazy summer is well under way. The wedding is down with no major casualties to report. Little things, of course, but no event would be complete without the little things.

Speaking of events, do I ever have one for you. One of the cult classics will be gracing Halifax screens this week - Dirty Dancing.

So tell me, when was the last time you had the time of your life?

Relive the excitement of the first time. Thursday May 29th, 6:45pm @ the Oxford Theatre, 6408 Quinpool Road.

Proudly sponsored by the Nova Scotia Home Builders' Association, proceeds for the event will support Joints in Motion. Tickets are $10 per person, and can be pre-purchased by calling Shannon at 902-450-5557 or e-mailing shannon@nshba.ns.ca. Visit the Facebook page for more information.

See you at the movies!

But you're from Antigonish

2008-05-16T11:05:00.002-03:00

TNG: "I'm going to rebuild it twice as big! Because that's the American way!"
Me: "Ummm, but you're Canadian"

I see how it's going to be

2008-05-09T13:25:00.005-03:00

So, as you or may not have seen in Ben's comments on I can has Coldplay, I am now sharing my office with "the new guy." Now, TNG and I are cool. He's a soon-to-be PR grad with a good sense of humour, therefore we get along.

We even practical joke. For instance we have been having a my-name-plate-on-top war on our door. There are two nameplate holders outside the door. It was my office first. Mine name comes first. I win.

But that all changed today.

Today was the day practical jokes reached a new level. Nothing extreme, but groundwork was laid today for a few bitchin' months. I came in this morning and all the papers on my desk were stapled together. Not in a neat "I'm-a-document-and-I-belong-in-one-flat-pile" sort of way, no, more like a "I'm-fanned-out-all-over-your-desk-and-stapled-in-odd-spots." Well new guy. I'm warning you now. I ALWAYS WIN. So, while you spend the day finding odd quote bubbles on all your stuff, or ripping "Pussy Boy With Guitar" off your John Mayer sweater***, keep in mind that if you take this any further you may become joke number 11 on this list.

***Note: Done purely to make fun of TNG. I have mad love for J Mayer, in fact I will be seeing him twice this summer.

Sniffles will be a thing of the past...

2008-05-08T16:12:00.001-03:00

Me: "You're a horrible person, but funny."
NC: "I know. I'm going to hell, but at least I know I won't be cold or lonely."

Yeah, I went there

2008-05-08T15:15:00.005-03:00

Ben, I love you. And in the theme of my comment, all press is good press, I thought would give you a little blog "bitchslap" love.

~~
On a call to Ben, as I am on my way over to one of our ANTM nights:

Me: "What kind of alcohol would you like me to bring over?"

Ben: "Anything really. I'd drink nail polish remover"

I can has Coldplay?

2008-04-30T11:34:00.005-03:00

Coworker: "Have you checked out the new coldplay song? You can go onto coldplay.com and download it for free."
Me: "Yeah?"
Coworker: "Yeah, it's pretty good. Not at all meowy. You know 'meow meow life is horrible,' or 'meow meow meow meow...clocks.' You should check it out."

May Day

2008-04-30T10:35:00.009-03:00

Okay, so today is the first day of the rest of my summer. It didn't really occur to me until just now. No, really.

In less than 24 days, I have to help plan a bridal shower, plan a bachelorette party, and do all duties related to standing in and emceeing a wedding. Yikes.

On May 29th, Sherry and I will be hosting Dirty Dancing at the Oxford Theatres as a fundraiser for our half marathon at Walt Disney World. Double yikes. Hosting our first fundraiser means that we really are going to run 21km in the happiest place in the world (more on this later).

Then in June, I will have my dinner theatre debut in a production for...my church. Okay, so it's not my big break, but it's still fun.

The day after our dinner theatre ends, my bother and I are venturing across the pond for a week, and among other things will be attending Hard Rock Calling, a two day festival with Eric Clapton and The Police as headliners. Yeah, we're cool like that.

So then I return for about 9 days before I start into a road trip with my friend Nicole. Two girls, one car, Boston and John Mayer. I'm excited.

After all that, I'll come back just in time to move into a new apartment (more on my love of living with the 'rents, I promise).

Oh, and of course on August 23, 2008, I will be rocking out at the second annual Nuts 4 Ribs (I'll remind the powers that be to update the date, but check out the information - it's a great event).

Add in mandatory work events: an auction, a golf tournament, a showcase of homes around the province and a member appreciation dinner.

And that'll bring me all the way to September. Seriously? It's April and I'm already in September? Shit, I gotta go - I have to start buying Christmas presents.

Eye eye, doctor

2008-04-23T09:15:00.004-03:00

After over an hour of waiting at my health clinic:
"Shannon, there is nothing wrong with your eye."
"But it hurts!" Feeble and desperate, but true.
"Sorry, there is nothing evident. No swelling, no scratches and nothing in it. Come back tomorrow if it's worse"

This morning: painful, swollen, and red.

After an hour and a half of waiting in the emergency room:
"Shannon, there is nothing wrong with your eye."
*crickets* ...accompanied by sad face
"By all means, if is starts to feel worse, come back."

Shit, I'm officially a hypochondriac

These are a few of my least favourite things...

2008-04-22T19:26:00.005-03:00

1. People who park directly in front of the community mailboxes.

2. People who park on the wrong side of the road in order to park in front of the community mailboxes.

Plastic Bomb

2008-03-28T22:07:00.007-03:00

Here is a link to an ad campaign created for Greenpeace to highlight the negative impact that bags have on our environment. Sadly, my knowledge of romantic languages extends soley upon French, so I cannot read the text on the site, but the video is completly instrumental. Scroll to the bottom of the link and check it out.

All of this was found via my favourite site to visit when I am looking to find cool things on the Internet: www.notcot.org

Road Rage

2008-03-28T21:16:00.007-03:00

To the woman who pulled into the parking spot directly infront of me as I getting into my car to leave the gym. The woman who decided THAT spot was superior to the three pull-through spots on EITHER side of me.

YOU SUCK.

C'mon, it's a start

2008-03-25T22:17:00.009-03:00

So one day in mid-February I decided to take the plunge. Sitting at my work computer at lunch time (I swear) I made my way over to Blogger and registered for a blog. My own blog where I can be like all of my over-achiever friends, and write about things I think are cool . A blog where readers can relate to me and I can relate to them. A blog people read.

Hell, how about a blog that I actually write on?

That's right - cut to now, over a month later and I am just writing my first entry. Why the delay? Perhaps my overwhelming desire to start with something profound. Something where I write about a cool idea, like my over-achiever friends. Something readers can relate to me, while I relate to them...okay, you get the idea.

It occurred to me tonight, though, that I just need to get over the initial "first post" hump. Why start off with a bang? I mean, if I went and did that, I would be managing high expectations from the get go. Instead, I think I will just start. Why not resolve to just get better from here?